In this episode, I share Brook Castillo's (The Life Coach School) life-changing Thought Model. What if there was a simple formula that could help you change the results in your life for the better? Well, there is, and that is exactly what you'll learn about in today's episode. Today's show will challenge you to think about your circumstances in a new way - a way that actually serves you in a positive way.
No time to listen? No worries, I've got ya covered with the transcript:
Hey Everybody - welcome back to the Podcast. It’s just me, Katy here today without any guests keeping it pretty quick and casual, but with some profound information around the way we think about things and the impact our thoughts have on our lives and the results in our lives.
So, I actually ended up taking last week off from the podcast because I just had a lot going on between work, first week of school, and all.of.the.things and honestly, something had to give. But I do promise to continue to be consistent with the podcast, but also give myself grace when I just have too much happening all at once. I invite you to do the same in your life. If you ever need to press pause on certain things, the consequences will often times be less dire than you build them up to be in your head. So, even though I didn’t publish the podcast episode I had planned I did still send out my newsletter and keep my community updated on everything going on in Motherhood Aligned land. So if you aren’t on my email list yet, I invite you to join me there. Just go to motherhoodaligned.com and opt-in at the bottom of the page.
With that being said I am just going to jump into today’s topic. I’ll start by saying that for many years now I have felt like I have this big secret in managing my mind and influencing the good things that happen to me in my life. I have never felt lucky, I have always felt like my businesses and the other positive circumstances in my life came from a lot of hard work and my mindset. I haven’t really had a way to articulate it, but it was enough of a calling that it’s ultimately what led me to Life Coaching and trying to figure out how to help other people in on the secret. So I went through my coaching certification and have been studying this work, but it wasn’t until recently that I heard it explained in a way that really clicked with me and now I want to shout it from the rooftops and let everyone in on this juicy secret about life. It’s called The Model and is taught by Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School. I learned it from my coach and am now sharing it with all of you. This is now just one of the tools I have in my toolbox for Life Coaching, but it is a framework that I use on myself every day of my life and I encourage you to use as well.
The model is almost like an equation for all of the circumstances in our lives. First of all, I hate math, so if you hate mate don’t turn this off, there are no numbers involved. Stick with me, I promise its worth it :)
Basically, the premise is that no matter what circumstance is thrown your way in life, the way you think about that circumstance is always directly tied to the result you get. Seriously, it is that simple. Our thoughts create our results.
The first line in this equation is the Circumstance. What’s important to know about circumstances is that they are always neutral. Neutral meaning it’s a fact. It is the way it is, it can be proven in the court of law. Sometimes circumstances suck, sometimes they are great, but either way your life is full of circumstances and they are neutral as they are. For example, your weight is a circumstance. If you weigh 160 pounds that’s a fact, it’s neutral, it’s your circumstance. How much money you make is a circumstance. Having to do E-learning for school is a lot of people’s circumstances right now.
Ok, so now that we all know what a circumstance is and that it’s neutral, we can jump into the next line of the equation. Circumstances trigger a thought in our brain. These thoughts can be negative or positive or even just meh, but either way, you have thoughts about your circumstance.
Those thoughts create our feelings. So, for example, if your thoughts were negative, you’re going to have some sort of negative feeling to go along with it. Which then brings us to the next line of the equation: our actions. How you’re feeling is going to influence the actions you take in regard to that circumstance. Or even potentially your lack of action.
And then guess what - our actions produce our results. WHAT?!! You guys, I know it is hard to portray on a podcast just how mind-blowing this is, but I want you to think about this. You have the power to create any result you want in your life and you can do it using this formula.
You can literally play around with your thoughts, feelings, and actions, to create a new result. This is what I have been doing in my own life for many years and never knew how to explain it. I have always known thinking positively has something to do with it, but never quite knew how to make sense of it. It’s all because our thoughts create our feelings, our feelings influence our actions, and our actions produce our results. That is why 2 people with the exact same circumstance can have drastically different results. That is why some people in shitty circumstances can pull themselves above water, while others continue to feel like they’re drowning.
I have been practicing this thought work for a while now and it truly is life-changing. Ok, so let’s run through an example real quick. I mentioned e-learning a minute ago. That is a circumstance for many people around the country right now. We can all agree that where e-learning is mandated it’s a circumstance. It’s neutral, not much you can do about it - except have thoughts about it.
So let’s say you’re really upset about e-learning and your thoughts look like: this sucks, how will my child ever learn, he’s going to miss out on so much, I’m angry about this situation
Those thoughts will create a feeling. In this instance, I would say that feeling could be defeated or maybe hopeless.
Your feelings fuel your actions. You’re feeling defeated and hopeless about the situation so your actions might be that you might share your thoughts in the district Facebook group or complain to your friends that this is never going to work or be the same and causes such a burden.
Your actions always produce your results - so guess what. In this case, it’s going to be a pretty rough school year. At least while you have e-learning as a circumstance and you think it will never work.
So let’s change that thought model up real quick. We’ll keep the same circumstance, e-learning, only this time we’ll modify our thoughts.
In this scenario, I am still thinking this sucks, but I’m also thinking this is temporary, we can totally do this and I want to make it a good experience for my kids
Those thoughts make me feel confident and optimistic.
Since I’m feeling confident and optimistic I am taking action by figuring out modifications in my schedule, researching best practices for e-learning, and helping my child get excited for this new way of learning
The result of those actions will serve me and my family in a totally different way than in the first example.
Also, as a side note - thoughts are 100% voluntary and cause the vibration in our lives that produce feelings. This can be hard to grasp, but it’s a practice to choose different thoughts that will serve you in your life in a positive way.
Now you might say, but Katy, I also have my full-time job or insert any other additional circumstance - and I totally get that, but that just means you need to also do the thought work there. You can even start with the result. What result DO you want, then work backward and fill in the rest of the equation. What actions do you need to take and how do you need to feel in order to take them?
This is the type of thought work that you should be doing every single day. The thing that’s important to remember about thoughts is that thoughts can either serve you or not. I challenge you to dive into your thoughts today and work on any thoughts that aren’t currently serving you. Sometimes you need a coach to pull those thoughts out and to really work through them. I’ll also point out that sometimes you might not know what your thoughts are and if that’s the case start with how you’re feeling and fill in the equation from there. Another option is to start with the result. What result DO you want and how do you need to think and feel to get you there?
If you aren’t getting the results in your life that you desire, you have some work to do. The good news is, I can help you. We’ve got one shot to live the life we’ve always dreamt of, don’t let your thoughts hold you back. I coach moms like you to help you live a life that’s easier, more purposeful, and that brings you true happiness so you can feel great each day. I truly believe that when you work on this and combine your own transformation with peaceful and positive parenting you create magic in your life and home.
If this thought model is something that resonates with you, let’s talk about it. I will leave a link in the show notes for a free consult call where we can take a look at where you currently are in various areas of your life, where you want to be, and how we can get you there. I’ll help you identify your thoughts and feelings, create an action plan, and get better results. It’s a lot of fun once you realize you have more control over your circumstances than you thought.
Thanks for listening and I’ll talk to you soon.
Ready to go deeper? Book a free consult with Katy