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[Podcast] 2 Things Parents Need to Know in Order to See Positive Change in Their Families with Rachel Bailey

parenting podcast Jun 30, 2020

 

Hey everyone!

In today's Motherhood Aligned Podcast episode Parenting Specialist, Rachel Bailey, joins me to discuss the two things every parent needs to know in order to see positive changes in their families.

Many of us find ourselves dealing with the same problems over and over again with our children. In this episode, you'll get some background on how to get your children to listen once and for all. It starts with viewing their behavior differently and looking at how we are treating ourselves as a parent.

You'll also learn that there are 3 main reasons your child isn't listening or in the place you want them to be.

The good news is, with the right tools and clearing out some of the "yuck" change can happen quickly!

 

 


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No time to listen? Here's the recap: 

Today I have invited parenting specialist Rachel Bailey on to discuss the TWO things every parent needs to know in order to see positive changes in their families. 

You see, many of us find ourselves dealing with the same problems over and over again with our children. You may be constantly nagging them to put their toys away, or brush their teeth, or any other seemingly menial task, but there’s resistance or DRAMA that comes with it. Every now and then they’ll do these things without putting up a fight, but it’s not consistent and you find yourself encountering the same problems once again soon after. 

Well, Rachel has some tips you’re going to love that will help you create long-term and consistent positive change. 

As I said, Rachel Baily is a parenting specialist - She’s been serving families for over a decade. She’s a mom of two and has a masters degree in clinical psychology, a certification in positive discipline, and has provided services as an ADHD Coach, in-home mentor, and therapist. Currently, Rachel teaches parents practical, long-term tools for raising responsible, resilient, and confident children all while reducing the stress and guilt in parents’ lives. She also has a Podcast that I think you all will love called “Your Parenting Long Game” because Parenting IS a long-game guys, and Rachel has the tools to help you make it work. I’m excited to have her share some of those with all of you here today. 

The 2 Things Parents Need to Know in Order to See Positive Change in Their Families and in order to raise kids who are responsible & resilient, but also have a home with fewer power struggles:

  1. We have to start viewing our children's’ behavior differently. 
    • We often see misbehavior as something that needs to be punished away or that we need to yell at them and do everything we can to motivate them to be better, but we rarely address the cause of the behavior. 
    • 100% of the time there is a cause for negative behavior. When kids misbehave, it is actually because they are struggling. Not because they are “being bad”
    • Once you figure out the why and view their behavior differently, everything changes
  2. We have to think about how we are treating ourselves as parents. 
    • You can learn all of the parenting tools in the world, but if you arent in a good place a person yourself, you’re not even going to be able to use those tools and then will feel guilty because you feel like you’ve learned these tools and should be using them and you’ll ultimately feel worse.
    • Things to look at when considering how you’re treating yourself are how are you talking to yourself?, how many boundaries are you setting so you can protect yourself, and are you setting your expectations too high?

Rachel also shared 3 Reasons your child is misbehaving or why your kids aren’t in the place where we want them to be

  1. They are missing the tools to be able to do what we ask of them. Often times they are physically able to do what we ask, but their other cognitive and developmental tools are still missing.
  2. They’re in a place of “YUCK” - a bad emotional place and unable to access the responsible part of the brain. It’s a place where our brain is in fight or flight mode, which actually shuts off the part of the brain which allows us to act consistently with our morals or values.
  3. They know from experience that they can get away with things. We, as parents aren’t firm enough, addressing the issue, or being a true influence. 

When you give the kids the tools, they will start to change their behavior quickly, but the more “yuck” there is in the home, the more work you’ll need to do to make changes.

Your next best step as a busy mom is to start with yourself. Look at the expectations you’re putting on yourself and make sure what you’re expecting is realistic. Also, learn how to handle discomfort and yuck and you’ll start to see changes. 

I just love this stuff, guys. If you do, too, please head on over to the Motherhood Aligned Facebook group and join the conversation. I’ll talk to you soon. -Katy

                             

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